v-bunny

Possibly the scariest commercials ever.

Okay, we know the Japanese are weird and we also know how much I adore all things Japanese. That said, (thanks to the Bon-Bon), here are two of the scariest commercials of all time:

Kewpie?

Can you see the terror in her eyes?

They come from this Japanese website that's pretty much completely in Japanese. All I know is that they sell food. Why they use scary dancing kewpie dolls to do this is beyond me.

I'm working on the Anime Boston pics. I promise I'll have them up soon!

Kill Bunny?

OH my god, I just saw the most hilarious thing on TV. I was watching Robot Chicken on Adult Swim tonight and they did a spoof skit of Kill Bill with Jesus, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and a bunch of Crazy Jews, renaming it Kill Bunny. I had tears in my eyes! What am I going to do when I have to go to sleep early. Adult Swim is my drug! Aqua Teen, Family Guy, Futurama, Inu Yasha, Vash (!!!), and my new favorite, Robot Chicken (which is, incidently, directed by Seth Green who I couldn't love more, I mean, I want to marry him!). (You know who Seth Green is right? I know Rachel knows who Seth Green is but do you? He's Chris's voice on Family Guy? He was on Buffy? Austin Powers? A bunch of bad movies?) Maybe I should get TiVo just so I can watch Adult Swim. Sad, I am such a freak. My goal is to get on one of Adult Swim's bumps (if you don't know, they do this thing where they "talk" to us through the TV...um... I don't even know how to explain it, you just have to see it to understand what I'm talking about). I would feel immortalized! Viva La V-bunny via Adult Swim!!!

Yeah. That would be awesome.

Bling it on!

Thanks and let's get bitchy with Jay.

First of all, I want to say thank you for all the nice things you guys have said about me. They make me want to cry and stuff. But I didn't write the thing so you guys can gush about me. I wrote it because I wanted to know where all of you are at in your lives (and also when everybody's birthdays are, sneaky aren't I?). That said, I do appreciate it and you can all keep doing it. Teehee...(If you want to get in on the fun, it's the entry right before this.)

Back to serious business, the business of Project Runway. For those of you who don't watch it, shame on you. It's the BEST show on tv right now. It's a bunch of clothes designers competing for their own fashion line and it's so much fun. SO MUCH FUN!!! Right now, they're down to their final three who will be competing for the grand prize at fashion week in NYC. Why do I love this show so much. I love fashion in a weird way. You know I don't like labels and brand names, but I love innovative clothing. That's why Jay's my favorite designer on the show. Austin is my favorite character from the show but (****SPOILER****) he's been kicked off the show (**WAAAH!!!!!!**). I didn't like Austin for his designs though. I liked him for his outrageousness. His flamboyant, over dramatic flair. And he always wore lipstick. But I love Jay's design work. He's willing to be edgy, punky, dramatic, and not boring. Plus, he is deliciously bitchy. He just says whatever's on his mind. He doesn't care. The main reason I love him so much is he openly abhors the e-v-i-l Wendy. She is a smug e-v-i-l and I hate her. Her design work sucks, too!!! I can't believe she's escaped the ax so many times because she certainly doesn't deserve to win. Her designs are blah and dowdy and also, she sucks. She has this uppity little vile smug smile that makes me want to slap her and I'm sure as hell Jay would do it if she ever directs it at him. He once told her she was like a cockroach, she just kept on surviving and I wanted to hug him because he was right. She is a cockroach. The third person still in the competition is Kara Saun, whom I feel ambivalent about. She's pretty good, very well put together, stylish and too plain for my taste. She's pleasing but Jay's edgy. I hope Jay wins.
If none of this makes sense, I guess you can wait for the summer of reruns but you should try to catch the very last two episodes to see the awesome clothes that are going to be coming out of Jay and Kara Saun (I know Wendy's stuff is gonna suck.). It's on Bravo on Wednesdays at 9. They show the previous week's ep right before so you can try to catch up a little. Oh, and the Project Runway website has all the designs from everybody up so you can ohh, ahh and blech at them.
Hey Jay! Wanna hang out with me and Rachel and talk smack about people?

Can't...stop...watching...tv...

I've been totally being a big lazy ass and watching so much tv. This is my latest obsession.
Project Runway
Call it the flipside of America's Top Model. Twelve aspiring clothing designers compete for a big deal clothing contract. The show is hosted my it's own uber-model Heidi Klum (possible more likeable than Tyra Banks, due to the fact that she doesn't pull the whole sappy one-on-one "Tyra Time" confessionals, and she's got a cute accent). The main reason I like the show so much, besides the wicked designs these people come up with (and man, do they range from the truly amazing to god-awful, burn-it-now), is the designers themselves. Man, are they a bitchy bunch, and I love it. They're crazy, whacked-out, immature, and so much fun to watch. My favorite designer is Austin and not because I like his designs. My sister and I are totally enamoured of him because he is feyer than an opera queen (if that makes any sense). He has lush blond locks and wears lipstick and gloves. I swear, he walked off the pages of one of my favorite mangas, Paradise Kiss which is incidentally also about aspiring fashion designer (I'm thinking Isabella). He designs these over the top things that scream frilly tea party and he's over dramatic about everything. It's pure joy watching him. The other designers all have their own quirks but Austin's my favorite. In terms of style, I like Jay the best, so far. Jay's got a wicked rock and roll style that I'm all about but he also did a really beautiful and complicated art deco dress for the Banana Republic challenge that showed not only his immense skill but versatility. (You can take a look at all the designs on the Bravo website which I linked to up above.)
It's on Wednesdays on Bravo at 9 pm. I'm going to go home and watch it now. Ciao.

Totally obsessed with Totally Obsessed

You know how I mentioned a little while back that my friend Hilary really really likes 8-tracks. Well, she likes them SO much that she's going to be on VH1, on a show called Totally Obsessed.
After weeks of phone calls, videotaped introductions, planning, hand wringing, and waiting, a television crew finally came down to Boston this weekend to follow Hilary and her obsession around. They started with filming her on her way to work (the colorful #1 bus route), then several hours at the bookstore. They had one of the regulars who sells used books to us reenact giving Hilary two 8-tracks and then they talked to Mike and Churchill.
Today, they're following her around the city and her apartment where she keeps her "8-Track Museum" and they're going to talk to Cathy, her wife. (Happy one week anniversary!)
I, sadly enough, don't get to be in it but that's okay. The only 8-track story I have is of finding a stack of Kiss 8-tracks once at a flea market for Hilary. Oh, and there was also one of the Monkees in there, too, so that's kinda cool. Anyway, it's all good. Three of my friends get a little fame, the bookstore gets free publicity, and I get to witness a TV crew in action.
The show airs on one of the Sundays in August so watch lots of VH1. And also watch Best Week Ever, because it's funny.

Soap operas are funny.

I was reading this article on Salon.com, Like sands through the hourglass by Rebecca Traister about how you can pretty much keep track of what's happening on Days of Our Lives, by watching just the ads. I did that. I had watched Days for a stint back in middle school during summer break (at my grandma's house, I believe), and it's amazing how I can still remember all the characters. It's also amazing how I can watch maybe a full episode once every two months and the occasional ad the rest of the time and still know what the hell's going on. Soap operas are the weirdest things. They are the ultimate unreal TV. The characters on these shows get killed, raped, shot at, stabbed at, trapped in a mental hospital, identity stolen, brainwashed, kidnapped, their children kidnapped, married, divorced, married again, and again, thrown down a pit, morphed into another person, seduced, possessed by the devil, amnesia, killed again, backstabbed, and that's just Marlene. On the current plot line, she's the Salem Serial Killer, having killed off about 10 people, and she's just been buried alive in a coffin as far as I can tell. Soaps! I hate them and love them at the same time.
(Okay, as I sit here typing this, the guys who live in the house next door just started karaokeing VERY VERY badly to Billy Joel. SHOOT ME!!!! Oh god, he's really bad. I hear dogs howling.)
Back to...okay, I can't concentrate with that NoIsE coming unrelentingly through my window. Not that this was that important a post anyway. Damn yuppy idiots next door. You don't live in a frat house, you know! This is Brighton, the side that's not near BC! Where quiet people live. Aw, who am I kidding, freakin' Soho is up the street. And we've got more Irish pubs per square inch than Ireland. I hate going out on weekends because of the crowds, but I can't escape them at home either. I need to find a small island to live on where I can watch my soaps in peace.

I only get cable on the weekends.

Despite my numerous posts about television, I actually watch very little tv. It's only been recently that I've officially vegged out on the couch and caught me some quality teevee. The first two years out of college, I languished in video withdrawal because of permanent night shifts and hating daytime tv. But when I switched to somewhat normal work hours six months ago, I rediscovered the thrill and anguish that is bad television. Reality tv, molding dramas, clones of 90210's clone Dawson's Creek, the WB, long running shows that were thankfully finally put down, all manner of sh*% that I watched with helpless abandon and awe. And this is regular network tv I’m talking about, no cable. But of late, I’ve had the great honor of watching cable on the weekends when I stay over at my boyfriend’s. And what I found is that it sucks just as much. There are like a hundred channels and nothing good on. I know this is nothing new to normal people who have cable or at least people who have not been stuck in the dark recesses of a basement of a bookstore for nearly three years. I imagined that there would be so many things I wanted to watch all at once that my head would explode from all my simultaneous options. Powerpuff Girls on the Cartoon network, South Park and Dave Chappelle on Comedy network, music videos on Vh1 and something like it on MTV, mountains of food on the Food Network, animals doing things like humans on Animal Planet, movies coming outta my ears, all the things cable ads promised. But no, that’s just not the way it is. There are all of those things, in tiny, tiny doses. It’s lucky if I can catch a decent cartoon on my maddening channel surfing rounds. But how can there be so much golf on all the time. Or just sports, there’s like 20 channels devoted to sports (sorry, I’m just not that into sports). Or infomercials, religious community programming, Disney, Jackass rip-offs, really bad movies from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s (really bad), and ahhhh, it makes my head just hurt thinking about all that waste of air waves. Options are no good if they’re all bad. Still, thank god for Vh1 because they’re still doling out the I Love the 80’s! episodes which I can watch for hours. And they’ve come out with a new show that I am thoroughly enamored with (if I can catch it): Best Week Ever. It’s all the catty gossip about celebrities you can take with sassy commentary from anybody and everybody. It’s so funny that everything just pales in comparison to it. That’s it, the whole entire post was a lead-up to this. The fact that I really like Vh1’s Best Week Ever. I have no shame.

You'd think all I do is watch TV, and some words about bitches.

Rant Rant Rant Alert! And it's all because of NBC.

Damn you ER!
I hate you, yet I watch you and watch you, and hate you some more, and watch you again. Why do I watch this overblown, overdramatic, egotistical show? They even air it in freakin' wide-screen for god's sake. And I get it already. It's an ER, so bad things happen, but do you have to bash my brains in with it? I mean, really, how many people on this show can you kill off? Bend it like Beckham girl's killing them off left and right, you just sent that perfectly nice black dude (who looks like the other perfectly nice black dude) off to (most likely) die in Iraq, and (HUGE IRONIC SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO EVEN STILL WATCHES THIS OR CARES) you kill off Weaver's wife in a traumatic kick to the ass. What the fuck? How about just pulling my tear ducts outta my head and stomping on them a couple of times. Yeah, thanks, that's fine. You sadistic bastards.

Moving on!

Ha, bitch, YOU'RE FIRED!
No, I'm not talking about Amy. I'm talking about Nick. Thank heavens he got the boot because I was about to lose faith in the Trump shakedown process. Nick was truly a smarmy jerk who was too slick for his own damn good. Never liked him.
Amy, I just started to feel bad for, though she definitely did not deserve to win. But as the only woman left, I felt a feminist responsibility to root for her, even a little, even though I thought she was a shrill bitch. So, with relief, I abandonned said feminist responsibility when she got fired.
So, it's down to Kwame and Bill, both smart and likeable but not particularly outstanding. And surprise, surprise, they bring back a bunch of ousted contestants for the final task to determine who will be...(dramatic pause) the Apprentice. Erg, and guess who else is back. The much hyped, much hated: Omarosa (that's ONE word, NBC, one, as in, that is her fuckin' name, O-M-A-R-O-S-A). And damn if she isn't a no good lyin' bitch (you knew I'd be talking about bitches from the entry title).
Hello Omarosa! There are cameras following you around!!
What's wrong with her???

Enough of this. I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow, hopefully I will have something other than television to post about. I'm going to be at anime convention. Sort of. We'll see.

More proof that Fox is actually one of the circles of hell (probably the 9th one).

Besides having the most vile, sensationalistic news program ever, Fox just keeps doling out the poison.

I turned on the TV tonight to find something so horrific, so terrifying that I became violently ill. “It” is (shudder…) the Swan, possible the wrongest, worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s Extreme Makeover but a hundred times worse, with that asinine “dramatic/romantic” orchestral music from every reality show ever invented and, I swear to god this is for real, a group of plastic surgeons who call themselves “the Swan team” who not only clap graciously at their creations at the end of the show, but also judge and vote on one of the two brand-spankin’ new women to ascend to the next level, a beauty pageant to determine who will be…the Ultimate Swan! Dear god, help us poor souls. The show is relatively straightforward. “Average” girls are given all the plastic surgery they can survive and then they are revealed as beautiful “swans” devoid of facial movement. It’s disgusting. Not only are they not really that much more attractive, they will probably melt near a fire.

But seriously, my real gripe with this show, and all those makeover shows in general that involve deeply unhappy people who think that happiness comes under a knife, is that it’s a media-saturated world where the way you look becomes your measure of worth. The idea of beauty becomes a commodity to be sold, exploited, hawked and twisted into moneybags for soulless media moguls. It’s totally the objectification of women, to the worse degree. These women are made to think that they have to go through pain, humiliation and bodily trauma, just to be accepted by society. It’s wrong people. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I hope this gets cancelled so fast that maybe nobody will even know what I'm talking about by next week.

And one more thing, if anyone ever needed a good, hard slap across the face, it’s the host of that show.

It's so hard being a model.

Here is my long tangent about America’s Top Model: I’m completely addicted to the show. I can’t stop watching it. I know it’s shallow and manipulative but damn it, it’s so much damn fun.
I’m rooting for Mercedes!!! I mean, my god, even Janice is rooting for her and Janice is a scary bitch. But I love Janice, because she will tell it to you like an arrow straight to your heart. Mercedes is sweet and pretty and I just want to kiss those big pouty lips. And she’s hot when she wants to be, straight up.
I don’t want Shandi to win, though she’s probably going to. She’s got everything going for her. From the ugly duckling, Cinderella aspect to the frequent mentions of her Walgreen days to the petty (and this week’s not so petty) tiffs with her boyfriend, and she looks fabulous in couture, how can she not win? I know that models with a certain look (emancipated…) are desired but, jesus, she looks like a skeleton with some skin thrown on for good measure. I can’t stand it anymore, the starving look. I get hungry just looking at her. How is that attractive??? The fashion world (and society, too!) is messed up. Don’t pick someone who will perpetuate this ghastly malnutritioned body type.
I’ve got nothing against Yoanna, she’s cool in my book except I think she’s very similar to last year’s winner, and she also needs to be like, "Look fool, I’m a size 2 (goddamn, size 2!!!) and I don’t need to be more skinny, got that? I’m fine with the way I am so you can take your couture and shove it!" (Okay, that wouldn’t help win her but, boy, would I like to see that.)
I feel that I should say something about April, even though I didn't particularly like her. She had that stereotypical uptight Asian girl thing that really bothered me. So much drive, so little emotion, always winning (except this time, hehe). After the elimination, when she was crying about how she had never lost before, I wanted to smack her and be like, get over it, you deserved to lose you over-calculating manikin. I wanted to see her go down in the flames of humiliating defeat. She’s like every overachieving, pretty (obnoxious), standoffish asian girl that I’ve ever had to face off against and lose to. (Fine, you may be smarter, prettier, thinner and more popular than me, but at least I’m having fun and don’t have a stick up my ass.)
I savored April’s defeat with every recalled fiber of my thirteen-year-old soul.

This is what happens when I watch this show. And that’s why I love it.