Woooooo….
Sorry about the absence. Hope you haven’t missed me much. I’ve been busy but now I’m all settled down and back to living my happy, bouncy life. Back to books and movie reviews and random rantings and the kooky events in the world of V-bunny.
The big news is I got married. I married Ivan, my boyfriend of eight years in this gigantic wedding on Sunday, September 18. It was a nightmare to plan. 300 people, two venues, four dress changes and an eight-course Chinese banquet. At some point during all the months of planning, I imagined the worst: a disastrous, clumsy, slapdash mess that would go down in history as the stupidest wedding ever. I mean, those of you who know me know that I like simple, but simple and humungo Chinese wedding do not go together. I drooled at the though of Vegas and destination weddings. The planning sucked away my life but in the end, it was worth it. The weather cooperated, everything fell into place with some last minute muscling by me, and everybody had a good time, I think. The wedding turned out lovely, fun, and memorable. I will try to put together a photo album soon.
The day started eye-bleedingly early with hair and makeup at 7AAAAAAAAAM. A friend of my mother's who works at a salon in Quincy rode the early express over so I guess I should be grateful. I don't normally wear makeup so I was freaking out every time I looked in the mirror. They told me to get over it. Relatives started arriving at my house pretty early, cooking food, setting up alters and generally, doing a bunch of stuff that was important but I couldn't tell what they were doing. Plus, you know, I was busy getting my eyes gouged out by eyeliner and brushes. Time seemed to be moving very slowly while I was being "dolled up" but once I was through, everything seemed to be flying because next thing I remember, I was slipping into my red Chinese dress (Dress #1). My mom performed some ritual for good luck where she brushed my hair (well, sort of, at least the act of it, not the actual thing since my hair was already a mass of concrete curls) and recited some words of fortune. Then, me and my parents honored our ancestors at an alter in the house (for those who don't know, it's a table laid out with food, cups of wine, and incense in front of pictures of our ancestors and figures of gods). Then we waited for the boys to come "pick me up." When they got here, they put my in a bedroom and from later accounts and subsequent viewings of the video, my sister and Thu Yen, my maid of honor, went down to bargain for my release. This meant that Ivan and his groomsmen had to give a certain amount of money or gifts to the girls before Ivan would be allowed into the house to claim me. There was Popeye dolls, inhalers, club cards, and even some chocolates used in the bartering but eventually, a red envelope with $99.99 got them in the door (I'd think I was worth more than that but...) So Ivan and his crew of men came up to my house and got me. We then bowed at the alter again and then, we performed the tea ceremony. A Chinese tea ceremony consists of members of your family (usually, the revered elders) sitting before you and you and your fiancee offering them cups of tea in exchange for their blessings and gifts. These gifts are, you guessed it, red envelopes full of money and for me, lots of bling-bling jewelry. Tons. BLING. After the tea ceremony, we walked out the front door of our house, walked around the house with my aunt carrying an umbrella above us (another tradition), and went up the back stairs to the attic where our new home was. There, we sat on our bed and my mom gave us a set of lucky candles with a dragon and phoenix on them. And then she gave us two bowls of sweet dumplings to eat. And then they tried to get a kid to jump on the bed (um, like a fertility blessing or something) but he stubbornly refused to and just sat there sullenly. It was pretty funny.
Before we knew it, it was time for the public side of the wedding. The boys left in the limo first while the girls and I did our last minute makeup fixes. I put on my white wedding dress (Dress #2) and veil. The morning was so hectic that it wasn't until then, when I placed that veil on my head that I felt like a bride. It was all quiet, everybody had gone over to the Publick Theatre by then, and it was just my bridesmaids (my sister, Thu Yen and Ivan's two sisters) and my parents in the house. I looked at myself in the mirror and relaxed for the first time that day. Before I had time to breath though, the limo was back to pick us up and a quick ride to the Theatre later, I was waiting to walk up the aisle.
I picked the Publick Theatre because it's a beautiful outdoor theater surrounded by trees and right next to the Charles River. It was a place that Ivan and I stumbled upon one day over a year ago (before we got engaged) and I remember thinking at the time, hm, this would be a nice place to have a wedding. And a little over a year later, we were exchanging our vows there. My bridesmaids hastily pulled the top layer of my veil over my heard and we walked across the little bridge that ran over the moat that surrounded the theater, towards where the groomsmen waited to file down the aisle. My dad met me halfway there and we waited for our cues. The girls walked down after the boys did and arranged themselves up on the stage. Then, Ave Maria came on and I knew it was time. My dad was all smiles as we walked down towards the stage and I looked to see who was there. We stopped at the front of the catwalk that jutted from the stage and waited for Ivan to come take me from my dad. My dad hugged Ivan and handed me over. Ivan helped me up to the stage and we walked over to where my former professor from college, Mary Campbell, was waiting.
Our ceremony was short and sweet. There was the legal, will you take this man to be your husband, business, then there was the short Native American poem, and then our vows, which we got from a cute Eskimo love poem, adding two lines of our own to personalize it. We exchanged rings, got pronounced husband and wife, and kissed. No fuss, real simple.
Afterwards, we mingled with the crowd, took pictures, and tried not to get chocolate covered strawberries on our clothes (very close). Ivan and I left to take some pictures around the river and then, my wedding party jumped back into the limo, drank some champagne, and got to Hei La Moon, the Chinese restaurant where the banquet was being held. If you've never been to a Chinese banquet, you really need to go to one. First of all, they're almost always huge. My 300 guest list is considered small peas at a Chinese wedding. You're supposed to invite all your family, 3rd and 4th cousins included, your family friends, your coworkers, the people that grew up in your village, your mailman, in short, everyone you've ever met in your entire life, or in my case, my parent's. And they were being generous, letting us invite our friends and family. There's lots of socializing (old folks: oh my god, I haven't seen you since I had hair!, young folks: whoa, there are a lot of old people here), drinking, and later, so much food, I bet it makes the stomachs of those who have been to one of these quiver in fear. Ivan's family, being Latin American, had never experienced so much food at a wedding and I admit, we do tend to go over board with eight courses and like, three different kinds of deserts. We took our first dance to Al Green's Let's Stay Together right before dinner was served. That was my most memorable moment. Twirling in my new husband's arms, in this beautiful dress, to such a great song. Thinking about it makes me heart do a little dance of its own.
I had my third dress change after about the third course (Dress #3), a different red Chinese dress that I wore when my wedding party went around and toasted all the tables at the wedding. We also draped all the jewelry that I had gotten over my neck and arms (another tradition) and I felt a little like Mr. T. I barely got to sit down when I went for my fourth and final dress change (Dress #4), a gold dress that was nice but I would rather have stayed in Dress #3 or even #2, though that dress was hard to handle with the long lace sleeves and all. At that point, we cut the cake (this DELICIOUS cake that was made by a Mexican lady who was a friend of Ivan's family called Tres Leches and it's like my favorite cake in the whole world), drank some champagne, got toasted by my sister and the maid of honor and best man, and after dinner, there was a whole lotta booty-shaking. Ivan's cousin and his friend rocked the rafters with some great Spanish music and we danced until all the Chinese people left and the staff kicked us out.
So that was our wedding, disaster free and better than I expected. I wouldn't traded it for anything. It was wonderful and it's something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I'm not a traditionalist but there's definitely something magical about weddings.
