v-bunny

The Golden Compass movie, a golden opportunity lost.

The Golden Compass is one of my favorite books. It is rich, complex, imaginative, and simply amazing. The movie, on the other hand, is a complete failure. It fails as a book adaptation; it fails as a stand-alone movie. The movie is a series of sequential scenes taken from the book and sloppily strung together into an incoherent mess. The story introduces an entirely alternative reality to ours but differences, pivotal to plot development, are glossed over and barely explained. And the back histories of all the major players in the story, from the Panserbjørne, to the witches, to the Gyptians, and even the Magisterium, are altogether ignored. Nothing is fully explained, leaving one to wonder how anyone who has not read the book could follow this jumbled disaster.

Chris Weitz, the director and screenwriter, is largely at fault here, stripping the complexities out and leaving the story a bare skeleton, but the editors should hold some of the blame as well for cutting this atrocity. It jumps from scene to scene with no segues, and plot points are changed or dropped altogether. There is no character development, just a group of one-dimensional cardboard stand-ins. The music is unimaginative, as forgettable a jaunt of "action fantasy movie” as can be, and the CGI leaves much to be desired.

The only saving grace is the actors in the film. Dakota Blue Richards is a wonderful Lyra, embodying the spunk and courage of the book heroine, and Nicole Kidman is enthralling as Marisa Coulter. The costumes are also gorgeous. Marisa Coulter's dresses accentuate Nicole Kidman's stunning lines to new proportions.

But these small gems do not make up for the gigantic disappointment that the rest of the movie is. Philip Pullman must be crying into his manuscript right now, his masterpiece having been butchered so brutally. I can only hope that they replace the director for the next two movies, if there are going to be any more, and it's someone who understands and respects the source material, instead of trouncing upon it with such painful disdain.

I can barely stand it, I am giving this movie one lousy bunny:

 

Stardust

I went to a screening of Stardust last night courtesy of my favorite bookstore and the Brattle Theatre. Now, as most of you know, I am a huge Gaiman fan, so I've been looking forward to this for a while. I love fantasy movies and there have been few and far between, besides Pan's Labyrinth, which I adore.

It's been years since I read Stardust so I went into the movie having forgotten most of the plot. The movie promised to be chock full of stars including Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro, and Claire Danes, with some sweet pop-ins by Ricky Gervais and Rupert Everett. The main character, Tristan, is played by Charlie Cox whom I have never heard of, but looks pretty cute in the posters.

Tristan is in love with the beautiful Victoria. (A complete aside: I know Victoria is kind of a "stuffy" name to have but, man, I can't remember the last time a Victoria has been a good/decent character. Give a girl a break, will ya?) She is all haughty and would rather have dashing Humphrey (who is played by someone who looks weirdly like Cary Elwes) but she is not adverse to Tristan's advances either because, face it, he's pretty adorable. In a moment of drunken bravado, Tristan vows to bring Victoria back a fallen star to prove his love for her and sets off on an adventure over the wall that separates the town of Wall in the real world and the magical realm of Stormhold. The star, it turns out, is corporal and is named Yvaine, played very nicely by Claire Danes (who I usually don't care for but she is pretty likable here). Michelle Pfeiffer makes for a wickedly fun witch, named Lamia, who is also after the fallen star for her own evil reasons, but it's Robert De Niro, as Captain Shakespeare, who steals the movie in some unforgettable scenes. I've just finished watching Godfather, Part 2, so it's quite a shocker!

So, how was the movie? I liked it a lot. It was cute, sweet, funny, all-in-all, a good time. Some small nit-picky things bothered me but I'm a geek. Someone likened it to the Princess Bride on IMDB and that's pretty accurate. The overall effort was very nice and I would recommend this movie to anyone looking for a fun movie. I was happy with it and give it a near perfect four out of five bunnies!

His Dark Materials...indeed!

They're turning one of my favorite books into a movie, The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman.

Meegs totally had this on her site first but I couldn't resist.

X:Men 3

I didn't like it.

:(

Howl's Moving Castle!!!

I went to a preview screening of the new Hayao Miyazaki movie last night at the Coolidge Corner Movie Theater. Based on the young adult novel by Diana Wynne Jones, Howl's Moving Castle fulfills a dream I've always had for Miyazaki's movies, ROMANCE! I've seen practically every Miyazaki movie ever made. I grew up with My Neighbor Totoro (a Chinese dubbed version that gave weird noise effects to the little helper totoros) and gobbled up every version of every Miyazaki movie I could get my little hands on in college. My favorite to this day (Howl not withstanding) is Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Now that I've recounted the history of my big Miyazaki geekness, let's get to the movie already.

It's amazing! It has all the elements that I LOVE about Miyazaki movies: adventure, mythology, magic, respect for nature, contempt for war, and finally, romance! At long last, a fulfilled romantic scenario (not, "you go back to live with the wolves and I'll go live with the humans and we'll visit"....that would be Princess Mononoke). The setting is very Laputa and Kiki's Delivery Service, European-like countryside town with over-the-top steam-powered transports and war machines, and everybody wearing hats. The heroine is teenager Sophie who gets a nasty spell cast on her by the Wicked Witch of the Waste, turning her into an ugly, old lady. She manages quite well for someone who goes from 18 to 80 (I would freak out like nobody's business). She falls in with Howl, a magician by many names, who is the master of a castle that walks around on legs. (Aside: Howl is like, super hot, for an anime character...god, I just can't ever write a serious review, can I?) She falls for the good looking fella, but that's just half the story. She makes a pact with a talking fire named Calcifer, voiced hilariously by the wise-cracking Billy Crystal, that if she breaks the spell that binds him to the moving castle, then he will try his best to break hers. So that's pretty much the set-up. You'll have to see it yourself. There's like a million more things in this movie (like a door that changes the location it leads to if you turn the knob/dial, and a giant crow monster, and a hoppin' scarecrow, and a little wheezing dog). It's awesome, even for a dub (they don't mess up the dubbing, I promise, especially Christian Bale as Howl...made my skin crawl...in a good way). And it's also really funny, which I didn't expect. I mean, his movies do have humor in them, like in Spirited Away, but this is like laugh out loud, ha-ha funny.

So go see it. You can come with me because I am going to see this again...and again....and again....

Drumroll please..... CLASSIC!

Star Wars: Return of the Geeks

Wow, is Hayden Christensen like, really hot, because he's really hot, or is it because he's Darth mothafuck'n Vader?

That's all I'm saying about the new Star Wars movie. If you need more, go consult the nearest geek.

Sin City: it would be a "sin" not to see it (oh so bad use of punnery!).

Frank Miller is a goddamn genius. Sin City was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be, but better. I LOVED it. I'm definitely going to go see it again. I mean, wow. And the graphic novels are equally as amazing. That man does for black and white on film and paper what Money did for waterlillies.

There are two ways you can watch Sin City. The first is without having read any of the graphic novels (I recommend this, though read them after because they're awesome). Just take it in: the style, the grittiness, the noirness, the pacing, music, mood, sex, violence, humor, vicious beauty, everything. Breath it in and let it race through your blood. You'll be sad when it's over.

The second way of watching Sin City is after you read the graphic novels (the movie's based on The Hard Goodbye, The Big Fat Kill, and That Yellow Bastard). I read The Hard Goodbye right before going to the movie. I spent that part of the movie transfixed by the how of it. I mean, shot for shot, line for line, Miller filmed the movie straight out of his book. The translation onto the screen is flawless. His drawing style admittedly is itself an homage to noir films, with its shadows through blinds and deep poses and hard contrasts, they probably just blew up the drawings and used them as storyboards for the film. It almost feels like cheating if it didn't look so darn good or work so well.

The three interweaving plots drive hard into the belly of Sin City, winding its way through the grit and violence and giving you a ride you'll never forget. Creatures that embody the dark of human nature dance a lethal game in the corrupt city; prostitutes who rule their own with guns blazing and not a hair astray, cops more crooked than the crooks, heroes who are worse than the villains they chase, and one scary ass Elijah Wood (SCARY!). The casting is a dream with Mickey Rourke rocking cold, brutal Marv, Bruce Willis as honorable, clean cop Hartigan, Jessica Alba as a red hot Nancy (wished she was topless though), and Clive Owen doing a fine turn as Dwight. There is lots of blood (white in the black and white atmosphere) so don't watch this if Kill Bill made you ill. The dialogue is a throwback to Raymond Chandler and the filmography's just gorgeous.

Oh yes, yes, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (but only for one scene) also helped direct but this is one man's vision, brilliantly realized. Raise a glass to Sin City. It get 5 bunnies, the highest honor.

New Jersey, the Garden State.

I went to see Garden State with Jess, Jan and Rachel last night. It was very cute, maybe just a little contrived (he's trying, so very hard), but pretty good all around. It's one of those "life moments" kinda movie where not a lot happens, but a lot happens to the characters. I think Jess has a pretty good review of it on her infinitejess.com site.
Zach Braff is not as...loveable (sort of) as he is on Scrubs (which I LOVE by the way, and everyone who hasn't seen that show, should because it's hilarious and fuckin' rocks). I think he purposely makes himself that dour though. He plays a drugged out (as in shrink drugs, not drug drugs) twentysomething who goes home to get his shit together after his mom dies. He meets up with his old buddies who haven't advanced very far from when he left and meets a quirky pretty girl played by Natalie Portman in one of the best roles I've ever seen her in. (I know she was supposed to be terrific in the Professional but I haven't seen that yet.)
Actually, a note about Nat. She is sooooo much better in Garden State than the Star Wars movies. It kinda proves that she is a good actress, if the script doesn't suck. I mean, even I can write better dialogue than George Lucas. There is a scene in front of a fireplace in Garden State between Zach Braff and Nat P that has so much warmth and charm and emotion, and it's such a huge contrast from the fireplace scene in the second Star Wars which was cold and forced, not to mention Nat was wearing this leather corset thing that looked hot (in a S&M way) but uncomfortable.
We briefly discussed how old she's supposed to be in the movie. I though 16 until that drinking scene, or maybe they just don't card in NJ, or she was at least 21? Her character acted like a teenager though, but she was enduring and quirky and sweet. Definitely a good job on Nat's part.
This isn't really shaping up to be much of a movie review, just a Nat P lovefest but what the hey. It's my website and I can do what I like. Plus, nobody reads this things anyway so I don't know why I even try. But who cares. I don't care. I just like having somewhere to put my thoughts for my imaginary audience out there.

A Terminal case.

I went to a screening of The Terminal yesterday. It stars Tom Hanks as a bumbling English-impaired tourist who gets stranded indefinitely at a New York airport when his native country's government is overthrown by a coup. Hilarious, heartwarming hijinks ensue. Throw in a cheesy romance or two, some well-meaning airport worker "characters" and a heartless head of Homeland Security and you've got The Terminal. Okay, I admit that romantic comedies are about my least favorite genre and movies that smell of good will and unrealistic sweetness tend to make me queasy, so maybe I'm not the best audience for this movie. This is for people who like "feel good movies" and don't mind that sometimes the line from Point A to Point B is a little too quick and straight. But sometimes, too much of a good thing can be just that, too much, as in this movie has too much "Steven Spielberg" in it, heaping doses of it in fact. You can feel his presence hovering over Tom Hank's shoulder in every scene. Is that the mark of a good director, when your signature can be seen on all the scenery and in every camera shot, or is it just intrusive?

Maybe I've just outgrown Spielberg. Jaws and ET were good when I was little but I've moved onto things with a little more subtlety and a little less fanfare and pomp. For example, I think The Terminal is like the inverse of Lost in Translation, which is one of my favorite movies from last year (and if you haven't seen it, you should). The Terminal is loud and cheesy while Lost in Translation is quite and sublime. There are plot/theme similarites. Both men are "trapped" in a place foreign to them (well, as foreign as the "all-American" Tom Hanks can summon as a lost Krakotzian??? in the international lounge of an American airport), both overcome their lonely exclusion with the help of a little puppy love and newfound friends, and both eventually get to go home, but not before they come to feel a little reluctant to leave their place of prior alienation. But the difference between the two movies is like night and day so, never mind. Back to The Terminal.

The only decent character is an Indian janitor named Gupta, played with deadpan crankiness by Kumar Pallana, who was the wonderful Pagaoda in The Royal Tenebaums. (If you've watched the extras on The Royal Tenenbaums dvd, you'd know that Pallana has this thing with spinning plates and stuff, which is also on display in a scene in The Terminal.) (And according to imdb.com, if his bio is to believed, he was born in 1919(!) making him, what, 85 years old! Whoa!)

Tom Hanks...is too...Tom Hanks. He's like Tom Cruise in that every role he plays becomes like him. He's not one to melt into his role. There will never be a moment in any Tom Hanks (or Tom Cruise) film when you forget the actor and see only the character. It's not to say that either of them are bad actors, they're not, but they are of a type (besides huge) that has become too ingrained in our subconscious to separate actor from character. I would say that Russell Crowe would be the opposite, because no matter how big he gets, he delves himself into a character so hard that his personality is non-existent, it's all character. Another one would be Johnny Depp. His (handsome) face will be there but everything else about him completely morphs into the character he is playing. Get what I'm saying?

As for Tom Hanks's charater, Viktor Navorski, he's likeable, sweet and "surprisingly" smart and skilled (as in carpentry?) despite his "immigrant" ignorance. He gets through one situation after another with his naivety and good intentions. How much puppy dog innocence can Tom Hanks exude? Lots, apparently.

Does Stanley Tucci always get stuck playing the sniveling bad guy or is it just me? His role as the head of airport security is so black and white that I started to feel sorry for him after a while. I think he was supposed to represent all the bias and pomposity of our current government but Tucci just looks uncomfortable trying to be mean.

In the end, The Terminal is full of clichés and plot holes but if you're willing to suspend your bullshit meter and waste your money watching something that makes you feel momentarily good, then The Terminal is for you. I give it two bunnies, for super cheesiness.

Lemony Snicket + Jim Carrey = ???

When I went to see Harry Potter the other day, they showed a preview for the Lemony Snicket movie coming out in December. (For those of you who don't know, Lemony Snickey's A Series of Unfortunate Events is a wildly popular series of books for children about three kids whose lives are ruined when they are orphaned by a tragic accident and sent to live with their wicked relateives who want to steal their inheritance. An excellent read.) I could barely withold my squeals of joy. Until...I saw...Jim...Carey. I thought, huh? The beginning was looking so promising. Dark, gloomy, and twisty (like Tim Burton, except he didn't direct this, but it kinda looks like he did, I think someone's stealing a page, at least) with a trio of gloomy children (Violet looks like Scarlett Johansson's goth little sister, squeee!!!) in the midst of burnt out Victorian gloom. Woohoo. Looks like the Series of Unfortunate Events I know (you know, like Edward Gorey for kids). And then, Jim Carrey. Wacky, silly Jim Carrey. As Count Olaf. Seems...off. I mean, he's evil, takes on various disguises and at least looks the part, but I just don't know. I waver back and forth about Jim Carrey. I liked him in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, mostly because he was not acting particularly like himself. I like him when he's kinda wacky, too. I liked the Grinch (I did, I did). I didn't like Bruce Almighty but he gave me the few giggles I had during that movie. I kinda liked the Truman Show. I really, really despised the Batman movie he was in (ick, ick, but not worse than the very last one, with Ahhhnold as Mr. Freeze and Uma as Poison Ivy, don't remember? of course not, and you should thank god you don't). I liked the Mask and Ace Ventura because I was 15 when those came out and come on, think about all the embarrassing things you liked when you were 15. I've never really despised Jim Carrey. He might have annoyed me slightly at one point or another. So, this all leads to: How do I really feel about him being in the Lemony Snicket movie? I really won't know until I watch it, I guess. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'm willing to try, only because he made me cry in Eternal Sunshine and laugh in an otherwise dumb Bruce Almighty. Who says he can't play an eccentric, evil, wicked, Edwardian count out to make a couple of children's lives miserable and steal all their money. Isn't that what he kinda does in real life anyway?